So I’ve been away on hiatus for about 3 years haha. Easily explained by the cost of film and my low hit rate with it. Fast forward to 2017 and I think I am starting to finally get the hang of photography and the courage to talk to strangers when doing some street photography.
Man I do miss shooting film. I’ve already shot 6 rolls this year! Back with a vengeance. I bought a scanner last year too which is helping with the cost. I am planning to get some equipment to process some C41 film this week.
Photos are from a Superia 400 roll shot last year.
I have began exploring film as a creative medium rather than just something to capture a moment while out and about. Seeing Rebecca Norris Webb and Ralph Eugene Meatyard work has opened up a whole other realm of photographic possibilities.
All the shots are from the same roll of Kodak Ultramax 400. The last shot is the first time I have tried using film for long exposure work. I used an app as a lightmeter which thankfully worked out. I love how film creates such unpredictable colours and effects.
I really enjoy photographing strangeness. An exploration which has carried on from my architectural dissertation on “Uncanny Spaces”, where I explored the mental spaces of my childhood. Spaces which were not of delight but of terror. I mapped these rooms as part of my spatial history (included in this post), trying to capture the emotion I felt while occupying each room.
Growing up in the Philippines, there were certain areas in the house that really got to me. I felt as if these spaces were alive. The Philippines is predominantly a Christian majority with a strong belief in spiritual beings, the good and evil kinds.
Stories of creatures and spirits are a big part of the culture and the feeling that I shared my home with phantoms were visceral experiences. I should perhaps elaborate on what I define as a home at that time. I lived inside a catholic school compound where I spent most of my childhood playing and going to school. During day time it was a blast, student’s and teachers were about, filled with activity and life. But as school finished up and the large compound with lots of empty rooms became silent, the atmosphere changed. It was not uncommon to invite the local priest to come and bless the school.
‘Dark is the hour!’ ‘Aye, and cold.’ ‘Lone is my house.’ ‘Ah, but mine? ‘ ‘Sight, touch, lips, eyes gleamed in vain.’ ‘Long dead these to thine.’
Ghost by Walter de la Mare
I linked this back to Sigmund Freud’s essay “The Uncanny”. One that stems from the definition of the German word “Heimlich” which translates to homely in English. He goes through its etymology by using two 19th Century dictionary’s and also looks at it’s use in literature. In particular the Grimm’s fairytales and highlights the literary definition of Heimlich ultimately changes to that of “Unheimlich” / unhomely.
In essence the home that is secure, safe and familiar can be viewed as something that is private and unknown.
This unknown morphs into the mystic and unseen becoming unheimlich or Unhomely. This blur, liminal point is that which is Uncanny.
Heimlich (a) Familiar Unheimlich (a) Unfamiliar
Heimlich (b) Secret Unheimlich (b) Revealed
The strangely familiar. Freud’s essay goes onto giving examples of fantastical tales which evoke the feeling of Uncanny, from Automaton’s to doppelgangers just to name a few.
Anthony Vidler also explores the Unhomely in his paper “The Architectural Uncanny: Essays in the Modern Unhomely”, specifically focusing on the Architectural unhomely aspects of the uncanny. Vidler uses Edgar Edgar Allan Poe’s “The fall of Usher” as one of the Haunted houses as an example and describes the uncanny arises from the “normality of the setting” and the absence of overt terror” resulting in a “disturbing unfamiliarity of the evidently familiar”. Poe’s description of the blank deteriorating walls and its lifeless eyes for windows makes us identify with our own mortality and the ultimate effect of time to all things.
I find photographically I am drawn to these sort of spaces. From gritty alleys, to desolate abandoned places were Urbanex photography arises. Two years ago I came across the term “Thanatourism” which according to good old wiki is “Dark tourism (also black tourism or grief tourism) has been defined as tourism involving travel to sites historically associated with death and tragedy.” Urbanex I think is the photographer’s version of this fascination, as we break into abandoned mental asylums or take photos of models in run down place filled with grafitti.
My last year’s trip to the Philippines again reminded me of the type of rawness I grew up in and which I identify with whenever I see a dark gritty alley. The textures, colour, decay, and use is like a patina over the buildings.
I do find these sort of images in Australia albeit much more difficult. I shoot and post a range of images but these sort are the most personal to me. The next images are all shot here in Australia. Thanks for reading. Hope I have not scared you guys off.
I got into film photography out of curiosity. To see the grain, its limits, and to slow down the pace of my digital machine gun fire.
I regret not doing photography as a subject in high school as it taught the basics of film as well as developing. But I probably wouldn’t have learn much as it may not have been in my interest. I drew alot, did art in high school and afterwards chose architecture as a profession under the guidance of my art teacher. Intuitively I put the two things together, I liked to draw, architecture is about drawings and making so it must be a perfect fit. Fast forward to where I am now, and it could not be further from the truth. The creation is there, but the creativity not so much unless you work for a “starchitect”.
In essence it is an office job. Dress shirts, pants and shoes minus the suit jacket. One stares at a computer screen for 8 hours drawing lines, emailing and so forth. Sometimes there are site visits and check ups but not often.
Thankfully I found photography as a form of creative release. Jumped into analog after 1 year of digital and have a love hate relationship with it.
I had to relearn patience. I dislike the cost aspect of it but why save money on things I do not want to do. I am frustrated on the average quality of the images when compared to the masters but that only keeps me going.
For the craft and understanding that we must put in time, as did the pioneers of the medium.
While trying to find my last roll of Agfa Vista 400 to load into my canonet I discovered a roll of Lucky Super 200 I shot from the Philippines. Delighted I got it processed and scanned earlier this week. I know I have said this before but there is something about film that captures reality. The colours, the grain, the imperfections, I believe reflect the world that we reside in.
Digital has become so perfect and shiny that to me they are unreal after seeing analog photos. Interestingly I remember the first time I saw my analog scan I did not like the grain at all. I got so used to looking at digital images I was not accustomed to it. Now It doesn’t seem like I can turn back.